Priorities get very strange as I continue to try to deal with my situation. Quit waiting for it all to make some kind of sense, and start making things happen. There’s the practical bit, need copies of Do not resuscitate with everyone, and give power of attorney over. The need to know list is good at 3 as I am today.
But then I went straight to the bucket list. Were there bucket lists before jack Nicholson and Morgan freeman?
I lost sight of the things I can do to vastly improve living my daily life, and hopefully have a positive effect on those around me. I can start smiling at people, I’ll get some back. I can add some variety to the things I normally do, I can pull all my art supplies out to stay, and let loose on trying to control the result. I can choose to live a passionate, animated lifestyle instead of my laid back, wait for something style, that I’ve worn so long. I forget I’ve got to make it happen, gotta start, it’s my responsibility to make changes, take risks, change myself. And I need to refocus everyday, because it’s so different, but it’s what I desperately want. I still want to look as good as I can so I feel good when I look in the mirror.
And I’m keeping my bucket list, which right now is @4.5 items. Here they are in order of importance:
I am going to do the following.
- Keep my private health cover, 2. Spend enough to make our remaining Christmases together our kind of Christmas. Those 2 are very practical, important, but would have changed if I hadn’t done something. So I’m going to start at version 1.1
1⃣Find and buy a pair of good quality Chelsea boots, the Cuban heel has to be exactly the right height and colour and shape, as does the toe shape.2⃣A pair of low cut black suede Converse with white soles and laces.3⃣Take my kids on a trip to someplace in Europe where we can tromp around castle ruins, see ancient architecture, and view Renaissance artwork with our own eyes. This one is the .5 because my kids are adults, have vastly different interests, and would probably find exploring pubs at the top of their priorities. If they were interested at all. Plus, in my mind all that walking about is magically made easy again, despite the fact that walking up a flight of stairs leaves me out of breath.
last minute add on, get some attractive, appropriate clothes, so I’m not forever walking around in jeans that I have to hold up with one hand, because I’m down a couple of dress sizes.
thelastbitofme 